The Hamstring Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Texans defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
73%POTENCY
-11.1PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Texans's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.