The Blown Coverage Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.
- The Texans defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.
84%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Texans drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.