The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
- The Texans defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
75%POTENCY
-13.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Texans's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.