The Garbage-Time Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
- The Texans defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
79%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Texans, Texans, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.