The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Texans defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
90%POTENCY
-9.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Texans, Texans, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.