The Late Scratch Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Texans defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
88%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Titans locker room
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Eye of Vikings, tongue of ref,
Bring Texans down to grief,
Texans scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.