The Blown Coverage Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
- The Texans defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
86%POTENCY
-9.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Texans drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.