The Hamstring Hex of Ian Thomas
Ian Thomas · LV · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Thomas's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Thomas's week
- Thomas will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Thomas has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
90%POTENCY
-16.2PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Rams locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Thomas's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ashton Jeanty
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
- Oronde Gadsden
FAQ
How do I curse Ian Thomas in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ian Thomas is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ian Thomas actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.