The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
- LaPorta will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
88%POTENCY
-19.6PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single tear from a Cowboys fan
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
LaPorta's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
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- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.