The Hamstring Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
91%POTENCY
-12.4PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Bills fan
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Eye of Commanders, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
LaPorta scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.