The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- A mysterious flag erases Johnson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Johnson gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
89%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cardinals locker room
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Johnson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.