The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
- Kessman gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.
81%POTENCY
-19.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A single Giants jersey, ironically worn
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Kessman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.