The Shank Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- Kessman scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
89%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Kessman's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.