The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Kessman hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
74%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Kessman, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.