The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- The broadcast shows Kessman on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Kessman. Kessman does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
79%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Eye of Falcons, tongue of ref,
Bring Panthers down to grief,
Kessman scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.