The Wind Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Kessman is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
91%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Kessman, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.