The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
- Kessman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
87%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Kessman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.