The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Kessman. Kessman does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
- Kessman is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
79%POTENCY
-12.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Kessman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Cam Little
- Jalen Coker
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.