The Shank Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
75%POTENCY
-19.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Kessman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.