The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Kessman trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- Ref: "Number Kessman, that's a flag." Kessman: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
92%POTENCY
-19.5PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Patriots locker room
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Kessman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.