The Shank Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Kessman hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
91%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Kessman, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Cam Little
- Jalen Coker
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.