The Wide Left Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Kessman hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
73%POTENCY
-12.9PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Falcons jersey, ironically worn
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A single tear from a Patriots fan
Incantation
Kessman, Kessman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.