The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Kessman makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.
82%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Kessman, Kessman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.