The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Kessman is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
88%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Kessman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.