The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
- Kessman sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
88%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Kessman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.