The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Kessman trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Kessman's stadium. Only over Kessman.
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
85%POTENCY
-19.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A single tear from a Saints fan
Incantation
Kessman, Kessman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.