The Shank Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Aubrey is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
74%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Browns locker room
- A single tear from a Jets fan
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Eye of Commanders, tongue of ref,
Bring Cowboys down to grief,
Aubrey scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Butker
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.