The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Bates will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
74%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.