The Doink Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Santos is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Santos kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
90%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Santos drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.