The Snap Count Hex of Chicago Bears
Chicago Bears defense
“The Bears defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Chicago Bears defense's week
- The Bears defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
- The Bears will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
90%POTENCY
-10.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bears drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Cairo Santos
- Miller Moss
- Zavion Thomas
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Chicago Bears defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chicago Bears defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chicago Bears defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.