The Garbage-Time Hex of Chicago Bears
Chicago Bears defense
“The Bears defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Chicago Bears defense's week
- The Bears offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.
- The Bears defense gets a pick-six called back for a penalty on... the defense. In the end zone.
82%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Bears's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Cairo Santos
- Miller Moss
- Zavion Thomas
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Chicago Bears defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chicago Bears defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chicago Bears defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.