The Late Scratch Hex of Chicago Bears
Chicago Bears defense
“The Bears defense gets a pick-six called back for a penalty on... the defense. In the end zone.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Chicago Bears defense's week
- The Bears defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Bears will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
82%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bears, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Cairo Santos
- Miller Moss
- Zavion Thomas
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Chicago Bears defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chicago Bears defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chicago Bears defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.