The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Chicago Bears
Chicago Bears defense
“The Bears defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Chicago Bears defense's week
- The Bears will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
- The Bears defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
75%POTENCY
-17.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Steelers locker room
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bears's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Cairo Santos
- Miller Moss
- Zavion Thomas
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Chicago Bears defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chicago Bears defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chicago Bears defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.