The Garbage-Time Hex of Christian McCaffrey
Christian McCaffrey · SF · RB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over McCaffrey's stadium. Only over McCaffrey.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins McCaffrey's week
- McCaffrey will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- McCaffrey gets stuffed on 3rd-and-1, 4th-and-1, and the goal line. Vulture season is here.
74%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A used challenge flag
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
McCaffrey drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Christian McCaffrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Christian McCaffrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Christian McCaffrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.