The Hamstring Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson is already "Questionable" with that ribs. The witch only has to push gently.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Parkinson is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
84%POTENCY
-18.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Parkinson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.