The Hamstring Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson catches 2 balls for 11 yards and a nice hug from a referee.
- Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
91%POTENCY
-15PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A single Cowboys jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Parkinson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.