The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- Parkinson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
82%POTENCY
-17.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Eye of Dolphins, tongue of ref,
Bring Rams down to grief,
Parkinson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.