The Blocking Assignment Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Parkinson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
- Parkinson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
82%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A single tear from a Steelers fan
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Parkinson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.