The Blocking Assignment Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
80%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cardinals locker room
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Parkinson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.