The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Parkinson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
84%POTENCY
-12.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Parkinson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.