The Blocking Assignment Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Ref: "Number Parkinson, that's a flag." Parkinson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Parkinson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
91%POTENCY
-14.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Vikings locker room
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Parkinson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.