The Late Scratch Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
- Parkinson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
78%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bills locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Parkinson, Parkinson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.