The Late Scratch Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
- The broadcast shows Parkinson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
84%POTENCY
-17.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Panthers locker room
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Parkinson, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.