The Chip-and-Release Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is already "Questionable" with that ribs. The witch only has to push gently.
- The broadcast shows Parkinson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
91%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Eagles locker room
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Parkinson, Parkinson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.