The Late Scratch Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- A mysterious flag erases Parkinson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Ref: "Number Parkinson, that's a flag." Parkinson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
72%POTENCY
-15PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Parkinson, Parkinson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.