The Mystery Tweak Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Parkinson lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
90%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Parkinson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.