The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- Parkinson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.
84%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Parkinson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.