The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Colby Parkinson
Colby Parkinson · LAR · TE
“Parkinson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Stanford's biggest rival.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Parkinson's week
- A mysterious flag erases Parkinson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Parkinson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
78%POTENCY
-15.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Parkinson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kyren Williams
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Matthew Stafford
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Blake Corum
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Colby Parkinson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colby Parkinson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colby Parkinson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.