The Late Scratch Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
91%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goedert's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.