The Snap Count Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Goedert's stadium. Only over Goedert.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Ref: "Number Goedert, that's a flag." Goedert: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
74%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Powdered kicker confidence
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Goedert, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.